Tag: passive income

  • How to Be the Ultimate Amazon Associate

    How to Be the Ultimate Amazon Associate

    Welcome to the hustle, my fellow affiliate adventurer.

    If you’ve ever thought, “Wow, I wish I could get paid every time someone impulse-buys a $9.99 USB fan at 2AM,” congratulations—you’re in the right place. You’re either a budding Amazon Associate or already knee-deep in link shorteners and conversion rates, looking for that sweet, sweet passive income gold mine.

    This guide is your absurdly helpful, slightly irreverent blueprint to becoming the Ultimate Amazon Associate—the kind that actually makes money and doesn’t cry when commissions change. (Again.)

    Let’s get it.


    🤑 1. Know the Fine Print… Before Amazon Yeets You From the Program

    Look, Amazon’s Terms of Service isn’t exactly a steamy beach novel, but it’s the kind of bedtime reading that could save your affiliate butt.

    They’ve got rules, and breaking them can get you banned faster than an OnlyFans link on a church bulletin board.

    Here’s a few to tattoo on your brain:

    • No cloaked links. (Sorry, ninjas.)
    • No emailing affiliate links. That includes Grandma’s AOL account.
    • No incentivizing clicks. “Click this and I’ll do a backflip” = no bueno.

    💡 2. Link Like a Pro – Add Value, Don’t Just Add Links

    You’re not just tossing links around like confetti. You’re a matchmaker. You’re connecting humans with the Amazon crap they never knew they needed.

    Instead of saying:

    “Buy this water bottle.”

    Say:

    “This water bottle has survived three hikes, a toddler, and one unfortunate yoga incident. Hydration? Secured.”

    Make it relatable. Be funny. Be YOU. Your content should be helpful, not desperate like a Tinder bio that says “CEO of Vibes.”

    Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This means if you click on a link and make a purchase, I may receive a small commission—at no additional cost to you.


    🔗 3. Track Everything – Use Affiliate Tags Like a Nerdy Wizard

    Amazon lets you create different tracking IDs. This is the nerdiest but most powerful tool in your affiliate arsenal.

    Set up unique tags for:

    • Blog posts (e.g., garzamedias-20)
    • YouTube descriptions
    • Product review pages
    • TikToks where you dance while holding LED light strips (no judgment)

    Why? Because you’ll finally know what’s working, and what’s as useless as a password hint that just says “password.”


    🎯 4. Target Buying Intent Like a Shark in a Kiddie Pool

    You’re not writing for people browsing cat memes. You want readers ready to buy.

    These are your friends:

    • “Best X for Y” (e.g., Best Microphones for Podcasters Who Hate Their Voice)
    • “Top 5…” (Top 5 Socks That Don’t Suck)
    • “Product A vs. Product B” (Clash of the Titans: Ninja Blender vs. Blendtec)

    These people don’t need convincing. They need a nudge—and maybe a 4.5-star rating with Prime shipping.


    🧠 5. Content First, Sales Second – Don’t Be a Walking Billboard

    Nobody—and I mean nobody—wants to read a blog post that screams “BUY THIS NOW” in all caps 17 times.

    You’ve gotta:

    • Tell a story.
    • Solve a problem.
    • Offer a personal experience.

    Example: Don’t review a standing desk like you’re selling used cars. Talk about how it saved your spine during your 10-hour YouTube rabbit hole on World War II submarines.

    Give context, not just commissions.


    📹 6. Use YouTube Like It’s Your Digital ATM

    YouTube and Amazon Associates are a match made in Bezos heaven.

    Unbox it. Test it. Wear it. Break it (accidentally). Whatever you do, film it and include that affiliate link in your description with your tag like:

    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B098X1J7D1?tag=garzamedias-20

    Bonus: Pin that link in the first comment. Why? Because sometimes people are lazier than a cat in a sunbeam.


    📸 7. Get Sexy with Images (Legally)

    You can use Amazon’s own SiteStripe to get product images. Don’t go downloading from Google like a rogue pirate—Amazon hates that, and their legal team is faster than you’d expect.

    Use SiteStripe to grab:

    • Text links
    • Image links
    • Text + Image (aka the Frankenstein of monetization)

    And boom—you’re in business.


    📊 8. Spy on Yourself With Reports

    Amazon gives you a detailed report dashboard. USE IT. It shows:

    • Clicks
    • Ordered items
    • Conversion rates
    • Which rando bought a $400 generator through your link for a $10 phone case (bless them)

    This data = gold. It tells you what to double down on and what to never speak of again (like that blog post on “Top 5 Tupperware Lids”).


    💥 9. Promote During High-Converting Times (Black Friday Is Your Super Bowl)

    If you’re not milking Prime Day, Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and Back to School like a capitalist vampire, you’re leaving money on the table.

    Prepare seasonal content early:

    • Gift guides (e.g., “Gifts for That Friend Who Buys Weird Tech Gadgets”)
    • Deal roundups (e.g., “Insane Prime Day Deals I Didn’t Expect to Actually Work”)

    These posts can print money if done right.


    🧰 10. Bonus Tools & Tricks That Make You Look Like a Genius

    Let’s add a few power-ups to your affiliate journey:

    • Pretty Links (for WordPress): Cloak long, ugly Amazon links into clean, trackable URLs.
    • Lasso or ThirstyAffiliates: Manage, organize, and auto-insert affiliate links like a boss.
    • Geniuslink: Localizes your links so international readers don’t feel left out. Bonjour, conversions!

    Also… don’t forget about Amazon Bounty Programs. Get paid if someone signs up for Prime, Audible, etc. That’s passive income on top of passive income. Cue Inception sound.


    🤯 Conclusion: You’re Now Basically Jeff Bezos with a Blog

    Let’s face it: being an Amazon Associate isn’t just tossing links and hoping someone buys an inflatable flamingo. It’s strategic. It’s tactical. It’s occasionally frustrating but wildly satisfying when the commissions roll in.

    To recap, here’s how to be the Ultimate Amazon Associate:

    • Learn the rules (before Amazon dropkicks your account)
    • Target buying intent like a bloodhound on espresso
    • Be relatable, helpful, and a little ridiculous
    • Use tracking tags, images, video, and tools like a digital wizard
    • And most importantly: always, ALWAYS add value

    Now go forth and monetize, you glorious affiliate beast. Just don’t spend all your commissions on random Amazon crap.

    Or do.

    We won’t judge.

  • 5 Passive Income Streams You Need to Start in 2025 Before Your Boss Finds Out You’re Rich

    5 Passive Income Streams You Need to Start in 2025 Before Your Boss Finds Out You’re Rich

    Get Paid While You Nap (Yes, Really)

    Picture this: you’re sprawled on the couch in your ugly-yet-irresistibly-comfy pajama pants, binge-watching The Office for the 18th time, and your bank account is growing. That’s the dream, baby. And in 2025, it’s more possible than ever. Whether you’re trying to escape your soul-sucking 9-to-5 or just want to flex on your ex with some extra commas in your bank statement, passive income is your golden goose.

    But not all passive income streams are created equal. Some are solid gold, others are sketchier than that guy on Craigslist selling a “gently used” mattress. So buckle up, buttercup—we’re diving into five of the best, most laughably simple (but powerful) ways to make money in your sleep for 2025 and beyond.


    1. Dividend Stocks: Lazy Person’s Wall Street

    AKA: Getting paid for doing absolutely nothing

    Dividend-paying stocks are basically like hiring your money to go to work while you chill. Companies like Johnson & Johnson, PepsiCo, and Microsoft love handing out cash to shareholders every quarter—just for existing. It’s like a rich uncle that doesn’t ask for anything back (rare, I know).

    Why it rules in 2025:
    More ETFs (like SCHD, VYM, and JEPI) are focused on income-generating stocks than ever before. And with inflation playing peekaboo, people want income that keeps up. Dividend yields are the new flex.

    How to get started:
    Use a commission-free brokerage (hi, Fidelity and Charles Schwab) and buy solid dividend payers or ETFs. Then kick back and reinvest until you’re rolling in those sweet quarterly checks.

    Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This means if you click on a link and make a purchase, I may receive a small commission—at no additional cost to you.


    2. Affiliate Marketing: Get Rich Linking Stuff You Don’t Even Own

    Affiliate marketing is where you recommend a product, someone buys it, and boom—you get paid. It’s like matchmaking but for products, and you don’t have to be charming.

    Why it’s hotter than crypto bros in tank tops:
    People are online more than ever. AI tools help automate content creation. Platforms like Amazon Associates and Impact make it easy for you to monetize your blog, YouTube channel, or social media page.

    Pro Tip:
    You don’t need millions of followers. You need trust and good SEO. Write a killer blog review on a product you actually like (or pretend to) and link it up. Passive traffic = passive dough.


    3. Digital Products: Sell Once, Profit Forever (Ideally)

    Let’s say you’re an expert in something. Or at least, better than average at pretending to be. Good. Package that into a PDF, online course, spreadsheet template, or even a Notion planner, and sell it.

    Why it’s glorious in 2025:
    Platforms like Gumroad, Teachable, and Etsy make selling digital assets stupidly easy. And Gen Z is obsessed with aesthetic templates and planners for everything from budgeting to “manifesting vibes.”

    Examples of what you can sell:

    • “Lazy Investor’s Portfolio Tracker Spreadsheet”
    • “AI Prompts That Don’t Suck”
    • “Productivity Journal for Creatives With ADHD”
    • Heck, even AI-generated art (because why not automate art now too?)

    Once it’s up, it can run without you lifting a finger. Unless you count cashing payments. Which we absolutely do.


    4. REITs: Real Estate Without Becoming a Landlord-Karen

    Real estate investing without plunging toilets or chasing down Chad for rent? Enter: REITs (Real Estate Investment Trusts). These are companies that own and manage income-producing properties, and they pay you juicy dividends.

    Why 2025 loves REITs:

    • Commercial real estate is still going through a weird phase post-COVID, but data centers, cell towers, and industrial REITs are thriving.
    • REIT ETFs like VNQ and SCHH are liquid, diversified, and hands-off. No awkward HOA meetings. No drywall repairs.

    Bonus points:
    REITs are legally required to pay out 90% of taxable income to shareholders. That’s the IRS basically forcing them to make you richer. Thanks, IRS?


    5. YouTube Automation Channels: The Robot Army Makes You Rich

    Here’s the passive income side hustle du jour: YouTube channels that you don’t even appear in. No face, no voice, no problem. It’s called YouTube Automation, and with AI scripts, voiceovers, and stock footage, it’s easier than ever.

    What you need:

    • A niche (top 10s, celebrity gossip, creepy true stories, etc.)
    • AI tools like ChatGPT (hey!), ElevenLabs, and Pictory
    • A monetized YouTube account or a burning desire to get one

    Once your videos hit the algorithm lottery, ads and affiliate revenue can keep flowing while you sleep, eat, or argue about pineapple on pizza.

    Heads up:
    This takes upfront work and consistency, but once monetized, it’s semi-passive crack. Use YouTube Shorts to get in quicker with the algorithm.


    Honorable Mentions That Didn’t Make the Top 5 But Still Slap:

    • Royalties from Music, Books, or Stock Photos – Passive if you have talent or a ghostwriter named Chad GPT.
    • High-Yield Savings Accounts – For the ultra-safe nerds. CIT Bank, Ally, and Marcus are your friends.
    • Print-on-Demand Merch – Slap funny stuff on a shirt and sell it on Teespring, Redbubble, or Merch by Amazon.
    • Crypto Staking – Still risky, still confusing, still for the brave (or reckless).

    Conclusion: Passive Income is the New Middle Finger to Capitalism

    Let’s face it: working your butt off 9-to-5 for 40 years is the financial equivalent of a rotary phone—outdated, clunky, and kind of depressing. In 2025, with tools, tech, and trends all lining up like stars for a zodiac girl’s Mercury Retrograde meltdown, there’s no excuse not to build passive income.

    Start small. Start now. Start somewhere. You don’t need to be rich to start passive income, but you’ll have a hard time becoming rich if you don’t. And hey, even if it just means making an extra $500 a month—imagine how many Costco hotdogs that buys.

    So go ahead, embrace the lazy hustle. Your future, nap-loving self will thank you.


    Disclaimer:

    This blog post is for entertainment and educational purposes only. It is not financial advice. Always do your own research, consult a licensed financial advisor if needed, and don’t YOLO your rent money into Dogecoin staking.

  • 25 Safest REITs to Buy & Hold

    25 Safest REITs to Buy & Hold

    Disclaimer: This is not financial advice. It’s entertainment, baby. Consult a licensed financial advisor unless you enjoy reckless decisions.


    Intro: Real Estate… Without the Tenants, Toilets, or Tantrums

    Ah, real estate—the land of clogged toilets, screaming tenants, and endless “emergency” calls about light bulbs. But what if I told you there’s a magical way to invest in real estate without ever stepping foot in a Home Depot?

    Enter stage left: REITs—Real Estate Investment Trusts. These beautiful, dividend-spitting unicorns let you own slices of commercial real estate without being cursed to a lifetime of plumber negotiation. And if you’re tired of YOLOing into meme stocks or praying for Bitcoin to go to Valhalla, it’s time to consider the safe side of REITs. We’re talking “grandma-approved,” pillow-soft, balance-sheet-fortified REITs.

    Let’s dive into 25 of the safest REITs to buy and hold… because who has the time for constant rebalancing when there are episodes of Succession to binge?


    🏢 1. Realty Income Corp (O)

    Known as “The Monthly Dividend Company,” because yes, they literally trademarked that. Think of them as the Beyoncé of REITs—solid, dependable, and loved by everyone. 650+ tenants, 50 states, no nonsense.


    🏥 2. Welltower Inc. (WELL)

    Senior housing + healthcare properties = aging population tailwind. Bonus points if you think Boomers will continue to dominate civilization until 2099.


    🛒 3. Federal Realty Investment Trust (FRT)

    They’ve paid and raised dividends since 1967. FRT is so stable, it might be anchoring the Earth’s rotation.


    🏨 4. Public Storage (PSA)

    Storage units: the physical manifestation of American hoarding habits. Recession-resistant. Divorce-resistant. Emotionally-repressed-millennial-resistant.


    🏬 5. Prologis (PLD)

    Amazon warehouses, e-commerce logistics centers. If you’re betting people won’t suddenly stop online shopping in 2025… you want PLD.

    Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This means if you click on a link and make a purchase, I may receive a small commission—at no additional cost to you.


    🏠 6. AvalonBay Communities (AVB)

    Fancy apartments for bougie city dwellers who can’t afford to buy a house because… well, avocado toast and mortgage rates.


    🏢 7. Alexandria Real Estate Equities (ARE)

    They lease to biotech and life sciences firms. If you’re bullish on scientists playing God, this one’s for you.


    📦 8. Extra Space Storage (EXR)

    Second-largest self-storage company. Basically PSA’s sibling, but a little more extroverted and aggressive.


    🛏️ 9. Ventas Inc. (VTR)

    Healthcare REIT with a mix of senior housing, life sciences, and medical offices. Sort of like a diversified basket of human maintenance buildings.


    🏢 10. Digital Realty Trust (DLR)

    Data centers. They own the physical side of the cloud—yes, the cloud is actually a warehouse with blinking lights. This REIT is what powers your endless doomscrolling.


    🛒 11. Kimco Realty (KIM)

    They focus on grocery-anchored shopping centers, which means they profit from your midnight Cheez-It runs.


    💊 12. Medical Properties Trust (MPW)

    Despite recent drama, they’ve weathered some storms. Keep an eye on them like you’d watch a reality TV contestant: shaky, but entertaining and possibly redeemable.


    🏥 13. Healthcare Realty Trust (HR)

    Medical office buildings. Doctors gotta doctor. HR’s properties are filled with folks poking, prodding, and prescribing.


    🏦 14. WP Carey (WPC)

    Diversified into industrial, warehouse, retail, and office. A good pick for indecisive investors who want everything in one REIT-y sandwich.


    🏗️ 15. Duke Realty (Now part of Prologis)

    Before its merger, Duke Realty was one of the top industrial REITs. If you liked it, you’ll love Prologis now that it swallowed Duke like a capitalist Pac-Man.


    🛏️ 16. Mid-America Apartment Communities (MAA)

    Apartments across the Sun Belt. Think Texas, Florida, and other places where people are running away from high taxes and high rent.


    🏢 17. UDR Inc. (UDR)

    High-quality apartment REIT with exposure to millennial renters and urban professionals who believe homeownership is a myth invented by the Illuminati.


    🧪 18. Iron Mountain (IRM)

    Where your grandma’s dental records and random company archives live forever. It’s a niche REIT with shockingly consistent revenue.


    🏨 19. Host Hotels & Resorts (HST)

    Luxury hotels REIT. Marriott, Ritz-Carlton, etc. A bet on travel and conferences being “a thing” again.


    🏘️ 20. Camden Property Trust (CPT)

    Multifamily properties in hot housing markets. If you believe young professionals will keep paying for rooftop pools and tiny gyms, CPT’s your guy.


    🏬 21. National Retail Properties (NNN)

    Single-tenant retail with long-term leases. Think gas stations, convenience stores, and more… they’re not flashy, but boy are they consistent.


    🏫 22. American Campus Communities (ACC)

    If you believe college kids will never stop partying… I mean, studying… this student housing REIT is a solid pick.


    📡 23. American Tower Corp (AMT)

    Cell towers = the backbone of your TikTok addiction. As long as humans can’t go 5 minutes without checking their phones, AMT is golden.


    📶 24. Crown Castle (CCI)

    Another telecom REIT. More towers, more connectivity, more passive income. It’s like AMT’s less glamorous, slightly more introverted cousin.


    🛢️ 25. VICI Properties (VICI)

    Owns casinos, resorts, and entertainment properties. When people say “diversify,” they don’t usually mean blackjack tables—but here we are. It’s surprisingly stable.


    Final Thoughts: REITs, the Couch Potato’s Real Estate Empire

    There you have it—25 REITs that let you sleep easy at night, knowing your money is busy working in malls, hospitals, towers, and storage units full of Beanie Babies and broken dreams. They offer passive income, decent yields, and none of the landlord headaches.

    So instead of chasing the next meme stonk or debating whether Bitcoin is going to zero or to Mars, maybe chill, collect some dividends, and let these REITs do the heavy lifting.

    Just remember: this is not financial advice. I don’t have a Series 7 license—just a keyboard and a crippling addiction to investing spreadsheets.


    Now go forth and diversify, you glorious REIT overlord.


    If you enjoyed this article, share it, mock your crypto bro friend with it, or just save it for when you need help falling asleep. Either way, your portfolio (and possibly your blood pressure) will thank you.